(Post 3 of a series)
When conflict stares us down and requires a response, our overthinking can get in the way. After establishing a solid plan of Carefrontation, it is important to pause in order to make a few affirmations.
– Reaffirm your commitment to the process.
When the conflict seems to break down, make a point to remind participants of the process to ensure their concerns will be dealt with. Attempt to identify what is keeping the process from moving forward by asking “What do need in order to move forward?” And “Let me remind you of what’s coming next in the purpose of our process.”
– Reaffirm a commitment to the people involved.
When the emotions of the conflict become heightened, pause to affirm those involved. Their emotion is evidence of their perceived value to work through the difficult conversation. A statement to refocus is “Thank you for expressing yourself. That shows how important reconciliation is to you. Let me encourage you to say what you need to say without the accusatory tone. Keep your words focused on the content of what you want to say and how best to say it in a way that honors the other person.”
– Reaffirm the agreed upon goals and objectives.
There may be a time in working through conflict when participants need to be reminded why they are there. “Thank you for continuing to work so hard on getting to an agreement. As a matter of fact, you’ve already agreed on a few things like_____________. You’re doing a good job getting to your goals and objectives. Let’s go over them again.”